Wednesday, December 20

20th december,2006,10:45 pm

i had loads of masti today. After all this company, here i wrapp up for tonight

main aap hi
apni premika
main aap hi apni saheli
mere jaisa koi nahin
main hoon
bass ek akeli

Thursday, December 14


khuda- e- aks hai woh asas
jo po-shida har nasl main hai

mandir, masjid, guru-dwarey
haazirr harr jism main hain
yeh dard-de dil yeh gham- ghuffaar
badolat 'main' ke kohrain hain
zehni hisaabh shakko- shubbha
ruhaani ibbaadat ke kaanten hain

khud- e- aks hai woh asas..

ho marr- mite jinke liye
yeh kown shaks maahir hai
jo ruhaani hi na hue
woh kiss manzar ke saahir hain

khud- e- aks hai woh asas..

jo iss lamhen ragown main teri
mehsoos karra de jannat ko
buland tarak tabhi paa kar
pehchaanega kown peer hai

khud- e- aks hai woh asas..

jo iss lamhe ragown main teri, mehsoos karra de jannat ko

Sunday, December 10

new post on pcube


jai ganapati vandan gana-nayak...

teri chavi ati sundar sukh-daayak
tu chaar bhuja-dhaari, mastak sindoori, roop niralaa
hai mooshak waahan tero, tu hi sabka rakhwala
teri sundar murat mann main, tu paalak siddhi-vinayak

jai ganapati vandan gana-nayak...

mann-mandir ka andhiyaara, tere naam se ho ujjiyaara
tere naam ki jyot jali to, mann main behti sukh dhaara
tera sumiran harr poojan main, sabb se pehle phal-daayak

jai ganpati vandan gana-nayak...

tere naam ko jissne dhyya, uss parr rehti sukh chchaya
mere rom-rom, antar main, ek tera roop samaya
teri mahima tu hi jaane
shiva parvati ke baalak

jai ganapati vandan gana-nayak...

Wednesday, November 29

the story of a come back

The Girl (henceforth- TG) knew the only thing good about hitting rock bottom was - the only way she could go from there was up. She collected all the strength she could muster and decided to make a come back . So she went back nervous and very -very anxious, her heart thumping at a speed that she felt dizzy. “May be this will be over even before it starts”, she thought while climbing the steep stairs, “and I would collapse right here.” At some corner of her conflicting heart she almost wished that would happen and the ordeal may be over even before it began.

She gently knocked at the door and since it was ajar she peeped in. TG remembered the familiar face- the face of her Prof. that commanded respect. But the teacher did not have the similar familiarity to reciprocate from her burnt out memory. ?”- TG wondered if all of them had wiped out her existence from their collective memory. The Professor waiting in her trademark patient (and somehow being positively patient) manner kept looking at TG. “May be all those years of formal education does work that trick on at least some of them”- TG thought.

Standing there at the door of the class – her class- TG almost pleaded with her unrelenting heart to slow down and dared a hesitant glance at the seating area. Her eyes came across at least 60 young faces – familiar faces ..all of them surfacing from the bottom chambers of her vague, hazy memory to her present moment of ordeal- “may be if she looked deeper in their eyes at least some would acknowledge her existence.” As if to serve a proof to her claim to be present at the moment and place where she was present – an institution to which she had earned her position. TG could not help but wonder.

As a divine intervention from the heavens, it turned out that the Professor was in a rush to finish the topic which she had planned for the day and asked TG a simple question which did not call for any explanations at least at that moment. TG was equally simple in her reply – “Yes Professor, I am from this class” and taking a deep breath quickly walked right inside.

There she was – HB seated alone on the second row from the front corner. As TG hesitated for a second, HB shifted a little inside towards the wall to make space for TG, signaling TG’s first acceptance in her second innings at the institute.

The initial few days rolled on quickly for TG as she was too caught up in the string of official procedures and explanations- submitting innumerable copies of applications and certificates of medical records. After receiving the final green signal to re-join the institute, TG was immersed in catching up with the ocean of pending work (projects, presentations, and reports - assignments that had long back faded from the collective class memory (who copied what from where, which text was good and which one was not to the teacher’s liking…) as everyday students battled with perennial course work assignments that kept popping up like giant monsters ever ready to gobble them up.

TG knew it was a challenge. Slowly TG was faced with a greater challenge of a nature to which she had not clue how to solve. Although no body seemed rude, the class was coldly indifferent towards her. “May be they are too caught up in their own respective cycles of work, too comfy in their own personal zones of trust, friendship and hostilities. Who would like to make space for someone who was a fresher in this game of competition and jealousies -the rules for which had been long decided and the contending groups long recognized? Is that not the way our education system works? Training people to survive in this modern world where it’s a battle everyday. The institute was doing its job well.” TG knew she had herself got into this situation.

TG had sensed abrupt silences that fell when she had walked in the cafeteria or common rooms. There were surprised glances and cold vibes and TG knew the gossip mills were working overtime providing quick fix entertainment and optimum degree of kicks to tired brains and over stressed bodies along with their daily supplements of caffeine and nicotine. TG wondered if anybody really bothered to know the truth as different from fiction. If she could ever break that circle of ice where she was trapped- frozen and lonely very lonely.

It was around this time when TG had a chance meeting with HB in the university special bus on their way back home. As HB boarded the bus and looked around for any vacant seats, TG signaled her to come and occupy the seat next to her. That day as they traveled back few things fell in a perspective for TG.

Both of them talked about casual stuff for a while and then all of a sudden HB smiled gently at TG and said: “you know I never knew that you were the friendly types…..uummm I mean I thought you liked to keep to yourself.”
TG : “Do I come out like that?”
After few seconds of awkward unsure silence TG spoke first:
TG : “Actually I have been finding it so difficult to break in, you know….everybody is so caught up. I feel nobody wants to hear my side of the story.”
HB : “What is it TG?”
TG : “HB can you tell me what’s going on?”
HB : “I don’t know much yaar but I believe there are at least three versions of your story doing the rounds – a) you went on a long leave to appear for your civil services exams; b) you went to some overseas university and have come back for some reason and; c) that you had some relationship problem…”

TG knew that in a place like this there were broadly three category of people : those who eat, drink, sleep dreaming to crack the civil services exam, second are the types whose aim in life is to get a foren degree and the third are the types who do the above two and more to either catch a boy/girl friend or keep one.

She could now locate the insecurity inside those heads. However what appeared most important to TG at that moment was to find one courageous soul (HB) who was mature and sensitive enough to ask TG and not follow the herd mentality by believing the hear say. Someone who was self assured and genuinely wanted to hear what TG had to say about her reasons for long absence. Both of them found a true friend that day.

Years after that day, once TG asked HB about what made her reveal the truth to TG and she said that she wanted to follow her heart and not the rumors. Even today TG wonders about the need of modern civilized societies to spice up their lives with ill-founded rumours at someone else’s cost.

Saturday, November 25

time flows

i have a sense of this moment
a moment of vague realization
granting me the rare peek into the distant horizon
the soothing melting enveloping realization -
it is time,
realization that i may have to go
if i have to come back.
that what has passed may be over
then is this the moment of final separation?
what it could be i know not
but this is it, i know for sure

Monday, November 20

goodness gracious grace

Hi there, my name is Grace. As you all can see I am a dog but what you don’t know is that I am a happy dog. And here goes my story:
I am soon going to be one year old. I have been adopted by a family that wanted to get a pet for their four year old son. Oh boy! That is a four year old terror, who thinks himself to be Hanumana and runs around the whole house in his chaddi with a gada in his hand!!!
Now, life was good, I normally would have a eventful day packed with lots of eating+sleeping+playing+masti. One day a stupid girl came to visit my family. It looked as if she had enough of that Hanumana bhakta (you know with his gada and supernatural powers, he can be an unnerving experience for the weak hearted).

As for me, I am always happy to see others (particularly strangers). As a policy I always display my exhilaration while meeting guests…err, frankly speaking towards everybody and anybody ranging from carpenters, barbers, sweepers, post men right up to the thieves. I ardently believe in a ‘no woof’ policy. Yes at times, I do rarely woof at my owners when they do unreasonable things like- don’t let me lick from their plates or get cozy on their warm beds.

As far as that stupid girl is concerned, trust me – I made all efforts to please her: I would go and pick her shoes and slippers and hide them in such choicest places. I would make sure that the timing was perfect, so the moment she would step in one of her shoes, I would swiftly grab the other and run off. But all this to no avail. Even tearing her clothes did not help…sigh
I say she was a real snoot. I would even go and slobber her while she was sleeping but nothing, just about nothing worked on her. Good ridden now that she has gone back.

And did I tell you how stupid she was- she could not even pronounce my lovely name properly and would always call me dis Grace. How stupid, but see i am so nice,I still never woof at her.

Thursday, November 9

on second thoughts...

i think i have gotta stop focussing on all these things- they make me way too sad. i am sure there are lot of good, positive things happening on planet earth. i will be glad to hear about them. so if anyone knows about some please do share them here.

Thursday, October 26

101st post

i would like to thank the person who is responsible for initiating me into the world of blogging.

i know i am not consistent, but in a way it is deliberate because i dont want to burn out too soon. it may be ambitious..but i want to be able to look back at zzz... and see how my life shaped up, what i learned and how i learned.

let me thank all the people today...
thanks for all things bitter and sweet.

all this when i know most of them would probably never read this or even if some of them do, i may never know of it. but it is still worth every bit of it, because i feel it in my heart and i know it to be true.

Wednesday, October 25

Thursday, October 5

advise from someone


Tuesday, October 3

umblical chord

ocean always brings out the child in all of us...its like we all feel some unexplainable belongingness to it...which lies dormant somewhere in our unconscious and the moment we face it, this joy gushes up to envelop our beings.
did we all emerge from its womb?

Wednesday, September 20

this one i read recently

There was a merchant in Baghdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling, and said, Master, just now when I was in the market-place I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was death that jostled me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture; now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there death will not find me. The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop he went.
Then the merchant went down to the market place and he saw me standing in the crowd and he came to me and said, why did you make a threatening gesture to my servant when you saw him this morning? That was not a threatening gesture, I said, it was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Baghdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra.

Wednesday, September 6

is it is so sad?

today, i sorted out a 'misunderstanding' with someone :) it feels nice

i lost-nay, to be precise, someone picked my cell.
day before:
i almost crushed a puppy beneath my wheels:(:(:(
then, i was extra cautious for the rest of the day, so in order to avoid a lazy bones, which was spread out in the middle of a narrow by -lane; took a deep cut and scratched a car parked on the other side:(

but, after all this and having finally gotten rid of that stupid cell fone, went and watched munna bhai. wow! what a movie it is. enjoyed myself throughly:):):)

woh kehten hain na
main zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya/
harr fikra ko dhuen main udata chala gaya/
barrbaadiyon ka shok manana fizul tha/
barrbadiyon ka jashna manata chala gaya/

ok, agreed its not all that sad stuff, parr fir bhi marne mainkya jaata hai??

Tuesday, September 5

words of wisdom

someone once said:
flow with the flow...but don't forget your life jacket!!!

how i wished. it is a strange thing.

when i took my walk down the memory lane
i remembered the feel of it
a sweet agony that i longed- so much
to have me in its embrace
it is a strange thing
far from thought or sense
least of all logic
but it is the heart that is the vicious master
brain is my good friend
it is the heart that is my master..relentless and unpardoning
let me integrate the two
how i wish...
i may so one day

Monday, September 4

curse of matrix

i see so much struggle around me that i wonder where is it all headed? is it all a great, big illussion that all humans are cursed to live in??
i am reminded of a story from mahabharta: when the king of hastinapur (he was probably named shantanu) put across his marriage proposal to ganga (the river goddess); she agreed but on one precondition : that the king would never ever question her on whatever she does.
shantanu agreed, assured that he was going to have no ordinary person, but ganga herself as a life mate.
they were married and soon, the king was delighted to be informed that he was going to be a father. moments after the royal couple had their first child, ganga picked up the infant and went beside the river bank and drowned the baby to its death!!
quite naturally the father was shocked beyond belief, but he kept quiet, bound by his pledge, or else his lovely wife would leave him immediately.
the same cycle went on for other offsprings as well, till the last one, when the king could not bear the trauma any longer and with a heavy heart broke his pledge..well aware that he would find an answer to the primary concern of his life, but would have to live the rest of his life without the companionship of his beloved wife.
ganga, the river godess, then told him that in reality, all of their previous children were actually the inhabitants of the kingdom of the gods- the indralok. however,they had been cursed to visit the mrityu lok, as a reprimand for some mistake that they had made. however, when they pleaded for forgiveness, they were suggested a solution, that although they would have to take birth as mortals but would be spared the rest of the curse, because ganga who was going to be their mother would end their life as soon as they were to be born. however the last child, was not spared from the curse, and he was to pre- destined to lead a human life and live the whole punishment.
this child grew up to be bhishma.

Tuesday, August 29

shucks :(

oh man!! i have a long long -long way to go.
i wish i could apologise to people whom i have hurt...just once. to tell that i never had an intention to do so, but just messed up....
because, i was a fool, stubborn and thought i was right...and ended up hurting a few precious hearts and strings that bound them.

let this entry, serve as an apology today.
every one commits mistakes and i committed mine.

Sunday, August 27


happy ganesha chaturthi

Wednesday, August 23


my car today gave me the most harrowing time.....the sstttupid auto lock/guard went off...for no specific reason. since it had no reason to go off, it did not have a specific cure(in terms of removing that reason)to make it shut up.
it was on full blast...aaaaaaaaaaagh, i went deaf. called up the fella from the company, who was more intersted in knowing my name and telephone number, than in solving my problem immediately. since the ofice had closed, no one could show up beyond office hours, so i was suggested to cut off some red-green-yellow wires from the maze of wires that lie inside the bonnet.
something happened, and as a blessing from the heavens, i could manage to cut off the correcet lead and that thing stooped crying and so could i.
and did i mention, how embarrasing the whole stuff was, i mean the stupid car made me look like a thief!! and cried its loyalty song to the hilt. children are usually the first class of people who come running to check whats going on, and they did, made fun, smiled and basically had a nice time, while passer bys made faces and went past....:(:(

Sunday, August 20

its yesterday, once more

today, i think after soooooooooo long, i was back to being what i really am..
every sha la la, evry wou ouo still shine
evry shinga linga li, that i 'd started to sing so fine
those were the best memories.....
its yesterday once more :)

i may never say this to you guys, but, thank you all -(ankit, deepak, kamal, rahul, and mansi, chavi and geetanjali)
and above all thank you Maa.

Thursday, August 17

18th of august 2006

its been more than 15 days now. 15 long days without anybody to look after him, we don't know if he has remembered anything at all, where is he eating? weather he has had a wash or not? how is this world treating him?
may be i can jott down here, where nobody knows that i am writing, i don't know if he will ever come back..i think secretively all of us are loosing out on our hopes of ever finding him again...even if he were to come back, it would be too difficult, the brain damage must be extreme...
it is true, its only a story, till it happens with you.


i have not been writing for a while now, i don't know what is the possible reason behind it. i guess, it is one of those phases, i want to quieten down now.
or may be, because i am quiet, i have nothing specific to write about. actually its strange, with so much happening around, i am not reacting....hhmmm....

Monday, August 7

jabb koi baat bigad jaaye...

jabb ho chandini raat
deta hai har koi saath
tum andheron main
na chodna mera haath

Thursday, August 3

i just hope they find him.

most of us have got back home
we are loosing hope
tommorow it would be the seventh day....

Tuesday, August 1

krack jack comedy..saw this once again yesterday

the comedy movie andaaz apna apna is one of my all time favourites..
it belongs to a different genre of comedies for instance there have been those like on the lines of chupke chupke and bawarchi or even padoasan.
next came those arty, low budget realistic comedies like jaane bhi do yaaro, chashmebaddor, and yes who can forget katha :)
then there is this one starring aamir and salman (what a treat!) both from bhopal, eek darzi ka to dusra nai ka beta!! cute! its a reall non -sensical high on plain stupidity quotient type of comedy but still never fails to make the likes of me enjoy it throughly.( mera IQ itna hi hai!)

i guess the characterization was done pretty the main villian is mogambo ka bhateeja... who wears a batman+dracula uniform and which is refered to as his ghagara by the these two jhonnies!then we have a tiger character who has another pawn who keeps on saying: "galti se mishtake ho gaya!!
to add to the mess there is a double role played by paresh raawal, in which one is the alter -ego of the other!!and yes the guys do get some support from raveena and kareena ..vaise unke bagair bhi film utni hi achi rehti!
some scenes are hilarious like the one in the lodge when these two arch enemies end up spending the night together and the caretaker of the lodge is this ultra -dharmic fellow fully loaded on hanuman bhakti and sees these two as modern -day versions of ram and laxman!! and the fact that the reality is just the opposite makes it for a comic riotanother thing is its songs..all of which have been composed on the tunes of old classies
overall its a treat...which i enjoy everytime and fall off from my seat everytime laughing

shaadi ka laddoo

as the saying khaye woh bhi pachtaye aur jo na khaaye woh bhi....
i think this one of the most complex of all social institutions which human beings have spun for themselves.
it is diificult to say waht is right and what is wrong because there are no absolute rights or wrongs in human relationships
i have a distant cousin who had declared to the world that he does not want to get married and his family, parents etc had lost all hopes of ever seeing him married. all of a sudden this guy meets up with a girl and withinn 2 months, he gets married to her in a very austere ceremony with only a handful of people. his parents are happy beyond words. infact they met the girl only at the weeding ceremony...
then there is another league of people, like this friend who wanted to marry but quite understandably to the girl of his choice...very reasonable expectation indeed. but as his father would have it, the man literally forced him to marry a girl of 'his' choice whom my friend had not liked at all. i remember, i had screamed, howled, counselled this guy to say no, simply because he did not want to maary this girl. but this fella simply could not. not that he did not register his absolute dislike for the proposed match, but as his father is--he rolled out all sorts of tricks there are in the book.....from anger and displeasure to pretending to have a heart attack. believe me his father did that.
i remeber even on his wedding day when this friend kept looking at me with such helpless expressions in his eyes that i could not belive that a modern well educated financialy independent man could be so submissive about the most important decision of his life.
by then i had sort of lost sympathy for him, because of not only his weak submisssive nature but also because this story had another twist to it. earlier, i may have in certain moments really pondered over the thought...if he had pursued me well enough.....but not now...

Monday, July 31

whats the deal with the world

what is going on with the world?
lebanon is continously suffering with civilian casualities. where are the 'big bosses', what are they doing? is this another appeasement going on? was one hitler not enough to teach us all a lesson? one can't question what breeds terrorism in the world? all these are no longer the cold war spill overs..these are new issues with newer dynamics...
i am aghasted.... 18 farmers in vidharbha have committed suicide in last 48 are to the nation, like roots are to a tree...they are not visible but are the basis of its survival....they are the feeder points on which depend the entire tree. if the roots are unhealthy, no amount of trimming and outwards treatment/beautification can help survive the tree.
gujrat and maharashtra are flodded again and 60% of the US is facing drought. is mother nature trying to convey something?

there is something that has seriously gone wrong..we are missing a link, a very important one....

Thursday, July 27


pyaar ke kuch niyam hoten hain
pyaar ka doosra naam hai haar
ussme sabse pehli haar apne ahankaar ki hoti hai

Wednesday, July 26

hauz park

if life is about counting ones blessings, then i would like to dedicate this post to district park- it is a park near home, which is actually a part of the green belt in delhi and is a huge chunk of whatever remains of delhi forest cover. actually this park is a part of the cluster of parks in which this particularly big(by delhi standards) forest cover has been divided.
coming to district/hauz park, it has its own archiological relevance as well, because it has a huge tank or what is called as the 'hauz' bang in the middle of the main area, this is the same hauz from which the entire area viz. hauz khas has derieved its name. i believe this hauz is the centre part of the main holiday- retreat structure which was bulit in the medieval india probably by the tughlaqs.
speaking of the current times, this hauz had eralier been given a royal ignore by the authorities and infact the hip hauz khas village(basically a very posh designer hub) that had come up right at this main structures back-in many ways flouted all rules which are there in regard of buildings under the ASI(archeological survey of india). i distinctly remeber, till just a few yeras back- a popular and hip resteraunt-bistro, would often spill over its specail evening parties with the fancy lighting and very loud music right into the premises of this historic buliding...throwing all rules and regulation out of the can buy you a lot in india even the old protected monuments can become your perfect set for a fancy party.
thankfully, someone in charge of affairs took notice and rules were strictly applied since then. today this park and the ancient hauz have been (may i say)- re-invented. the hauz has been filled with treated water and this attracts a number of migratory birds in the season. the medieval structures tower over this hauz and the clean blue sky provides a perfect pose. in this monsoon season, the evening sky often has a riot of colours and all the ancient trees and the stone structure make it a perfect place to sit quiet and watch

Monday, July 24


off late i have really started using this word very often. whenever anything is even close to being bakwass i brand it as b###
i guess most of the stuff in life in general is bakwaas indeed
matlab, generally life main rakha kya hai? all the run of the mill drill is bakwaas. now i may be sounding bitter but let me tell you i am not. yes, i have come to raelize that most of the stuff one runs around the whole life for is indeed worthless.
so here go the words of wizdom from zzz..writer
pata nahin aage zindagi main likha kya hai
kissko pata kal kya ho
hum hon to kahaan hon
issi liye aei- dost... bass din aaj ke khush raho

Saturday, July 22

log kitne velle hoten hain

What if Computer Science people start producing movies??Some Film titles may be like these :

1. Hang To Hona Hi Tha !!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai
3. Aao Chat Kare
4. Programmer No.1
5. Mera Naam Developer
6. Java Wale Job Le Jayenge
7. Hum Apke Memory Mein Rehte Hein
8. Do Processor Baarah Terminal
9. Tera Code Chal Gaya
10. Har Din Jo Mail Karega
11. Network Ke Us Paar
12. Debugging Koi Khel Nahi
13. Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehta Hai
14. Raju Ban Gaya Administrator .!
15. Client Ek Numbari Programmer Dus Numbari
16. Login Karo Sajana
17. Naukar PC Ka
18. 1942 -- A Bug Story
19. Kaho Na Virus Hai
20. Crash Se Crash Tak 21. Haan Maine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai
22. Password De Ke Dekho
23. Terminal Apna Login Parayi
24. Mr. Network Lal

ps: copyrights for this piece lie with a comp. geek friend


one fine day i find a reason to be happy
and you know what, soon hundred reasons follow that urge me to be unhappy
then i turn smart
and decide to be forever..

Wednesday, July 19

Angrez chale gaye....... Angrezii chod gaye .

Have a nice day! -----> Achcha din lo!
What's up? ----- >Uppar kya hai?
You're kidding! ----->Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!
Don't kid me! -----> Mera bachcha mut banaao!
Yo, baby! What's up? -----> Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?
Cool man! -----> Thandaa aadmi!
Don't mess with me, dude.-----> Mere saath gandagee mat karo, e vyakti.
She's so fine! -----> Woh itnee baareek hai!
Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!?-----> Suno dost, woh choozaa mera hai, theek?
Are you nuts? -----> Kya aap akhrot hain?
And the best ones are.....
How do you do? -----> Kaise karte ho?
General Body Meeting.... ----->Saamanya Shaaririk Milan
Keep in touch.................... > Chhoote Raho.....

Saturday, July 15


jai ganesh, jai ganesh
jai ganesh deva
mata teri parvati
pita maha-deva

Wednesday, July 12


how manipulative and cunning is a person allowed to be before 'it is time'?
has this world forgotten everything about morality or sanctity of a relationship? that GOD is watching him every second of his life
how far can a person 'in need' allow herself to be used, manipulated, exploited? this is so dark..its rotten and stinking.
what can i do about it? i can no longer be a mute spectator to all this exploitation of one human being against another.

Tuesday, July 11


years ago, it was a regular day of my post grad years. i remember sitting there on the sidewalk just opposite anna's canteen, sipping tea with a friend and doing what everybody did during a tea break....look around, gossip, basically stay clued on to wats happening with whom (a small well -knit campus life ensures this as one of its many goodies)
this guy (mind you he is not any regular guy, i mean in my life i am yet to come across a more good looking specimen from the male species) walks up to me and we exchange pleasantries and he chats for a while and leaves.. a yet another daily drill/an obligation, each memeber is supposed to perform towards one another. once he leaves my friend (this is actually a teacher of mine from the college where i did my graduation from and is now here pursuing her phd), cannot hide her excitement of having met this hunk and is pleased beyond doubt and expresses the same in no subtle ways.
so that was the time when 2720-as we (i mean the whole campus female flock) used to call him (no point racing your minds in decoding this. i tell you you won't succeed!) was perfection personified to all of us..
i mean the guy was a concept-good looks combined with absolute charm, great soft skills and loads of atitude and the optimum level of financial backing made the whole package -well extremely enchanting and hence truly tempting (trust me, as i speak for the whole class of 2002)

alas! but all good things come to an end, do they have to? why???? aaghhhhhhh!!!!
next year, i had an opportunity to get to know him better, and the magic slowly faded away in thin air. in reality,2720 was not this don juan- super human, fantasy hero ....well he was very much human- carved out in flesh and blood with a more than an average levels of vanity and arrogance.
in hindsight, i feel if someone is as good looking as he was, it is actually a curse, in the sense that, such people are more prone to be skewed up towards the abnormal (ie. because they are not average) and are rather the misfittted ones... like all the geniuses history has produced. probably we dont realize this but it is such a blessing to be just one in the crowd and not to be very striking

Monday, July 10

yeh duniya badee ajeeb hai

speaking of friends, there is one more that i want to write names again
a distant friend of mine recently got married. as destiny had it planned, they worked for the same company but in different states and met one another at a company event. now all was well except for one thing, the guy's parents were dead against the match...i mean they were completely stuck up on the issue of 'jaat paat'and all that bakwaas
after much convincing he could not succeed,but this did not deter them from their commitmment towards one another, and they finally decided to get married. now this guy knew that his parents(who were not living with him) could put up stiff resistance to this and so he decided not to tell them about it till he actually got married.
as wierd as it sounded to all of us, the reason was that he feared that since his dad was a heart patient, he could 'emotionally black-mail' him into not marrying against his wishes.
so finally with the assent of girl's parents,these two got married:)
the ceremony was kept extremely simple and even the girl invited very-very few people because she did not want him to feel lonely/depressed in the crowd that an average indian wedding draws.
now, once the marriage was disclosed to this guy's parents, they had no other option but to agree and accept the girl as their bahu.last that i heard was that his parents are now gladly holding a very lavish reception at their native palce for the newly wedded couple.

Saturday, July 8

this is from a friends chapter of life...

he had been obsessed with her, so much so that sometimes he scared her to death. she had made it clear beyond doubt that his moves were unwelcomed, and tried to ignore him. she never gossiped to the world about all that, because she believed it to be improper to derieve frivolous fun at somebody else's cost.
as things unfolded, she met another aquaintance, who wanted to know if these two were 'together'? since they never were, she told this girl that it was not the case and that she had never been interested and had shunned all his efforts from day one.
after few years, i ran into this second girl, who was now him!! it struck me then why she had been so keen on knowing the story from the horse's mouth (my friend).
this girl was furious with my friend and happened to direct all her stocked up venom at me (because i was her friend) and told me that her husband had 'told her the truth'. she knew now that it was she(my friend) who had been pursuing him hot and detailed all 'unsuccessful' attempts made by her at enticing him!!!!!
i kept quiet and she went on to add that 'she knew that was the truth, because she trusted her husband completely'

her fury, the surprise of getting to know that she ended up marrying this guy, and the overall suddeness of the situation and the fact that all this had no particular relevance in terms of my personal memory....drained me completely. and as i began to co -relate all the loose ends of the whole story...the futility of putting up the records straight...struck me.

the reality of the present moment was that-- my friend had forgotten about the episode, was in a fullfilling long term relationship, this girl was now married to him, had her life in front of even if she believed a completely false story to be true...she was better off than knowing the truth. i mean who was going to gain what from the truth?? certainly not this woman who was obviously so much in love with her husband.

in the end once this lady was through with whatever she wanted to vent out..she waited for me to may be to defend my friend's case. but i simply told her that i was glad that she was marreid and wished her luck, and told her to believe what she wanted to believe because what was important wasthat she should start her relationship with him on trust and faith.

aane wala pal jaane wala hai

today i cant resist my memories flight in the past. well, for one, every chapter in life is plannned to be written (by who so ever is in charge) for some reason. it is up to us how we choose to interprett it. secondly, although past is over, but the lessons are'nt!! so it is like history in making with every passing moment. in a way it is good because, then we always have hope for the future..i mean which school would allow a student, who has been failing repeatedly, to reappear again and again..till s/he passes:):):) quiet kool haan??

its been so long

its been so long since i wrote something that i wanted to write. as i looked at my blog, i realized i have been deliberately trying to make it such a frivolous exercise...probably gaining time.....

Wednesday, July 5

in a lighter vein

this picture somehow sums up my initial reaction to something that i saw right now:):):)

Wednesday, June 28

spelling disasters

this is what was found to be written at the back of a dtc(delhi transport corporation) bus seat:


Monday, June 26

arz kiya hai...

katra hi sahi...
dariya se to nizbat hai.

i may be a small puddle (of water)
but atleast
i am connected with the river

Sunday, June 25


(To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.)

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this inconvenience. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the door and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
A. Eat less
B. Don't ask for money all the time
C. Are easier to train
D. Normally come when called
E. Never ask to drive the car
F. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
G. Don't smoke or drink
H. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
I. Don't want to wear your clothes
J. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
K. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children

Friday, June 23

khuda- e- aks

khuda- e- aks hai
woh asas
jo po-shida har nasl main hai
mandir, masjid, guru-dwarey
haazirr harr jism main hain

yeh dard-de dil
yeh gham- ghuffaar
badolat 'main' ke kohrain hain

zehni hisaabh
shakko- shubbha
ruhaani ibbaadat ke kaanten hain

khud- e- aks hai woh asas..

ho marr- mite jinke liye
yeh kown shaks maahir hai
jo ruhaani hi na hue
woh kiss manzar ke saahir hain

khud- e- aks hai woh asas..

jo iss lamhen
ragown main teri
mehsoos karra de
jannat ko
buland tarak tabhi paa kar
pehchaanega kown peer hai

khud- e- aks hai woh asas..

jeewan ki sachchai

insaan burre nahin hote...
haalaat burre hoten hain.

Tuesday, June 20

it rained this evening!

i remember this song
feel it on the finger tips,
hear it on the window panes..

can't remember the artist

Monday, June 19


dear lord

there are certain things which i absolutely NEED NOW
i need to go to the ocean...i miss it, i remember those enticing waters, clear blue crystal waters, the soothing sea breeze that flows through, even the smell of fish!!
oh dear i remember those good times, that little prayer which went out from my heart, with every breath that i took. how i wished it to come true as a fruit of every good karma which my soul may have stocked up till now

Friday, June 16

good morning

jab jaago, tabhi sawera..

Thursday, June 15

If You are reading This....

i have an unexplainable restlesness inside... i hope you are fine...

Tuesday, June 13

india gate

last evening, mother nature gifted some respite to dilli walas as, it was a relatively nice weather to venture out, so i went to india gate.
for as long back as i can remember, india gate has always stood as a towering architectural reminder of two things- one,as a majestic symbol of british imperial rule over india and secondly and perhaps more importantly,as a grim reminder to the futility of war.

and yet at the same time,i have always felt baffled, regarding the symbolic metamorphosis of this colonial piece of architecture,from colonized india, to sovereign independent india... (we have witnessed quite an activity there- a-la rang de basanti style minus the dramatization of course)

earlier( like when i was in school) india gate was associated with the main structure, the amar jawaan jyoti, the handsome guards, and ofcourse the mandatory reading of the names of the jawaans as far up as possible.
but yesterday, it seemed...nay,it felt very different.i dont know what is about this place that seems to have caught the fancy of delhites. i mean, the place was so crowded that it almost seemed to loose out its charm to it is more about the lawns, the pheri waalas, eatables and the other knick knacks on sale.
may it is because, delhi has so very few places which offer options for some nice, affordable family evening outs.

a must check

Monday, June 12

painted hands, incredible

chaddha dear

yesterday my dad had this story to tell me:
when he belonged to the age when it is ok to be young and restless, he once pillion rided the scooter of his friend who was dead shri chaddha. so chddha sahab insissted that "only he would drive his lovely lambretta".
anyway, so thses guys were coming from delhi cantt towards naouroji nagar. half way through my poor dad began to get all jittery because "saala chaddha" was driving very very fast that he scared the spirits out of my daddy dear( my daddy strongest!!!)... what is the way out of this extremely awkward situation? dad began to race his mental horses ..hoping to find a suaitable ..well a face saving solution so that niether does chaddha dear feel offended and dad can reach home in one piece...(chaddha was anyway notorious for being accident prone!!)and ofcourse save his pride by not becoming a laughing stock at office (chicken hearted etc)..
so my dad went into an overdrive trying to figure out a way out...and catch up with chaddha's often swerving and almost skidding wheels...

dad came with this solution: ...he requested chaddha sahab to stop because he needed to well..pee...and the cantt jungles are the best place to do that..even till today (have you been there on the ring road, anytime any spot is a urinal) nature's call had to be answered and well dad got off finally...phew!!! from that flying machine..and saved his ass..wished his friend good night, that from this spot, he will most conviniently catch a bus or whatever and that he the kind soul should not worry about my dad...thanx once again.

as for chaddha...he survived not only that night but many more nights of drunken driving :)
office gossip never kicked off because chaddha ji was too drunk to notice that my father had got off in middle of a jungle late at night and merrily believed that his friend conviniently reached home..well almost

Sunday, June 11

as SHE makes me run

run run run..
like forrest gump
thank god
for, i am not as - dumb.
i shall run
but not from my self
yes i shall run
run through, fast and swift..

Thursday, June 8


'Empowerment is really an 'in' word these days... i mean every one is talking of being empowered - starting right from the right to vote, to present day state sponsored empowerements through affirmative action ie. the right to reservations etc.
let me make it clear at the outset that this post is surely not about raking up the issue of reservations but yes its about empowerment...
so continiung with that,the hottest item on the list of this act of empowerment is -
the knowledge and information expolsion ...empowerment through the click of a mouse, empowerment gained through the rights flowing from being a customer (customer is always right) so much for the advertising and media generated moolah...
but i ask- is it a reall choice on offer...well i have spoken earlier how this "right to know... must come along with a corresponding right to choose NOT TO KNOW... i mean i choose not to know about rahul mahajan's perasonal deatils or his escapades on the other side of the law...please have mercy on my far outstreched, over loaded attention and for heaven's sake spare me the trouble.

but as my natural proclivities insist, i have to mention about this another type of empowerment, which is largely ignored by most of us, but which to my mind is indeed the most empowering thing..

empowerment through acknowledgement of the 'now' moment- which asserts the reality-that the past is over and the future does not exist
all one has is the now moment. that present is the only moment in which i can actually do something, when i am truly in control..empowered to work towards a desired objective...and that this is the only truth 'cause no one has seen the future and that the past is exactly there-in the past.

Tuesday, June 6

a must check

this one book is worth checking. its titled. 'he is not that into you'.... i mean seriously

Monday, June 5


hey !!! i think cars speak volumes about an owner's personality.....
so which bracket do i fit in??
umm..not this one for sure.....

Sunday, June 4


sometimes i feel things exist in concentric circles.. i mean nothing is ever patterned as linear...for instance this world is flat ---we all can see it but then we all know that it is not- right?
this atleast proves that whatever we see (or percieve from our sense perceptions) per se, is not really for sure the truth...the absolute truth -minus all and any dross (in simple hindi it means-'khot').

somewhat similiarly, this world of relationships that we live in...they all exist in a huge, big ,inter- connected, complex matrix like circle/s and everything is just such a big fruitless run that we all are just running round and round in circles thinking we have found the answers of our lives..what i need ..i know what i want..i know this is the thing for me.. and stuff...
and one day when all of it will be over we may just remember this age old proverb:
'if youth would and age could'

so who is this rahul mahajan???/

frankly speaking i dont care what this mahajan junior is up to...i mean give him a break if the guy had or did'nt have dope or champagne, or a concoction- its his life..why bother us with all the nonsensical stuff, who had it who gave what to whom.....
give me a break!
yeah did anyone btw, know that it has been raining incessantly in UP and Orissa and that many human lives have been lost...that a part of our country...Assam (remember its at the other end of our country) has been flooded again...well its flooded each year...and yes that mumbai is back to square one and the rains of last year have had no learning lessons for the local municipality.

then again who is this rahul mahajan???

kya kahoon?...

Its a riot of emotions these days- suddenly things which have been great mysteries for me are unfolding …. Making their presence felt …..
pata nahin, it feels that as if the whole universe is upto something.....bent upon proving a point with me....perhaps

Wednesday, May 31


yesterday it rained in delhi.....
here it feels like a blessing from the long back as i can remember, after those incredibly long months of scorching heat...first drops of rain have a mesmerizing effect on barbequed souls of delhi!!
- really summers are actually that unrelenting over here..well for that matter so are the winters...

but its just that even after acting as human specimens for nature's extremities..we people( i mean dilli -wallas) are never ever prepared for the extreme heat and cold that alternate each year..
year after year each one of us complians with such preserved innocence that only an initail shock can deserve....
"i can't take this heat"(when the person has taken and lived in this heat all their life!)...

on a different note-
for that matter -are we ever prepared for anything at all...or are we always prepared??
what is the drawing line between being prepared and not....well, once its here its here...
whatever is, it is...and whatever is not, it is not....i guess thats all it takes to accept the reality.

Monday, May 29

fear of the unknown

why fear the unknown when all that is known is so frightning in itself?
some time back i read this piece which suggested that in large parts our miseries ,fears and anxieties are rooted in our obssesion with either the past or the future...which in effect do not allow us to live the 'now' moment.

that actually got me thinking that why cant i let the 'now' be the reality for now...
yes there are many things ..things and tendencies that i know the sense that they are not unknown to me and precisely that is why i can positively do something about them....i can only live and control the now...might as well do that???

Friday, May 26


some songs are forever..sacrifice by elton j , i also particulaly like air supply.....out of nothing at and forever....roxette is good too...
then ofcourse therz kenny rogers...he is out with a new record...water and bridges i guess..shall check it out.
then there are songs of the moment.....
it goes something like this
main to tumm sang.....
nain ladaa kee......

Monday, May 22


so watever goes around .. comes around....

Friday, May 12

water voes

it is said that now if a world war were to take place it surely will be fought over water. so almost an year back, unarmed protesting villages in rajasthan were shot at by the administration because they were asking for the right which has traditionally always belonged to them- the right of acess of the local community over the local water resources.

well to say that water has never been a bone of contension would be a white lie, beacuse for times immemorials water or rather acess to it has been a cause as well as a indicator of the existent social and an economic divides in the society. so all the so called upper castes had acess to the nearest and the safest water supplies of the village to which,the rest of the residents were denied acess.
cut to the modern age, comes the role of international economic bullies and bosses ( world bank in this particular case) who are in somewhat similiar vain the water bosses , the only difference being that these agencies are not even a part- inheritors ( as is the case of upper castes) of the traditional right of the local population over the natural resources of the region.
so whats my point here:
as a happily ignorant resident of delhi, my first encounters with what resulted from the privitazation of water in delhi came up when taps began to run dry ever more frequently then before this season.
what has caused this? the sonia vihar water plant was hailed by the delhi govt. as one of its great achievements which was to end the water vows of its privileged citizens ( well we are priviliged at least relatively speaking because: a) we do get some water in our taps and; b) on days when we don't we can atleast afford those bisleries..)
but what was chosen not to be told was that the delhi govt. was indeed quite clandistenly engaed in the process of privitization of water distribution. now this is an important point to be noted. personally i am not against privitization but whenever the rule : 'power without responsibility' comes into play things do get murky. afterall its a well proven dictum: power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely' (lord acton).

so when water is being privatized it should be done so in a rational manner; what has actually taken place is that water distribution has been privatized but its treatment and availability to the supply points has not. so basically it means that: although the private players have been entrusted with the task of distribution( therby giving them direct acess to the consumers thereby enabling them with a position to play traditional arm twisting gimmicks with the consumers); however, ensuring acess to safe treated potable water remains with the djb (delhi jal board).

there is yet another angle to the whole issue: the callous indifference of the local residents of delhi. so when installing water pumps continues to be illegal, its a law which is flouted in almost every single house hold of delhi (including mine). further despite regular studies proving that the ground water tables in delhi esp. south and south west delhi are plunging rapidly and dangerously, direct extraction of the ground water continues to flout every rule present in this regard. so now once the municipal water supply has run dry, we have the kind of money to acess the ground water. and it is to be admitted that now with this 'new found resource'- we continue to 'waste' water ever more royally then before.

Thursday, May 11


He works it out ...
"There are so many worries; there are so many struggles you have. All these can be neutralized by Shri Ganesha. Though innocent, He is extremely clever and when he comes to your help, you are amazed. How he works it out and how he removes all the hurdles and all the worries from you. So this is the most important deity we have, though it’s a very simple deity. This Mooladhara chakra is very very complicated. It is one of the most complicated chakras I think, because it has many waves, it has many compartments. We can say which all the time are vibrating and oscillating. So to steady down these you should try to be absolutely dedicated to Shri Ganesha." (25.09.1999, Italy)

Wednesday, May 10


i will try and recall this nice poem a friend sent me across which i most foolishly deleted
so here goes my try at total recall..

a 'black' child wrote this:

you white people call me black?
when i am born i am black ...
when i am a child i am black
when i go out in the sun i am black ..
when i get angry i am black ..
when i am jealous i am black ..
when i am cold i am black and
when i die i am black..

and you white people ..
when you are born you are pink ...
when you are in sun you are brown ...
when you are cold you are blue...
when you are injured you are yellow ...
when you are angry you are red....
when you are envious you are green

and you call me coloured?

Monday, May 8

my inbox had this today

These are couplets taken from the rhymezone site where there's
this competition for writing the most romantic first line and most unromantic>
> are a few of the entries..

> >> >Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet,
> >and so are you.>
>But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,>
>the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.>

>> >After you, my love, my only prize>
>Would be a bullet between my eyes>

>> >Of loving beauty you float with grace>
>If only you could hide your face>

> > >I thought that I could love no other>
>Until, that is, I met your brother>

>> >Kind, intelligent, loving and hot>
>This describes everything you're not>

>> >I want to feel your sweet embrace>
>But don't take that paper bag off of your face>

>> >I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -->
>Damn, I'm good at telling lies!>

>> >Every time I see your face >
>I wish I were in outer space>

>> >I saw your face as you walked by>
>but then I saw a better guy>

>> >My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:>
>Marrying you screwed up my life >

>> >Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,>
>If it's true, I'd prefer you inside out.>

>> >What inspired this amorous rhyme?>
>Two parts vodka, one part lime >

>> >I see your face when I am dreaming>
>That's why I always wake up screaming>

>> >My love you take my breath away>
>What have you stepped in to smell this way >

>> >My feelings for you no words can tell>
>Except for maybe "go to hell"

Thursday, May 4


i often derieve great pleasure in being a quiet, un-involved almost invisible ( a -la mr. india act) spectator to some very ordinary inane situations and people in them. its reall fun..almost like a new story to be told behind each 'reall life' character.
so today while coming back, i had some company in the bus..a bunch of... actually three young girls, who boarded the bus from chankyapuri embassy area. it seemed quite evident that these three were locallites of the area .
khair let me clarify why they proved to be objects of interest to me (besides the men folk in the bus for obvious reasons).
well, for one, all of them seemed to be just on the threshold of adulthood (that is strictly legally speaking- 18 years of age)
coming to the main point, besides the two superbly confident , smartly dressed and 'almost managing to be stylish' girls, its the third one who caught my attention. she was the quiter of the lot, was shy, hesitant..almost embarrased to be seen publically with two of her gregarious friends who kept discussing 'personal matters'( what else but boys!!) in loud voices..almost as if wanting to boast of their social accomplishments to the passengers around. well for sure, they kept many of us amused. hey! i found my story in them!
coming back to this third one, she reminded me of my days when i was many times caught with such friends and how embarrased i used to feel!!! ...thank goodness now i have become more choosy in picking up friends.

Wednesday, May 3

Does evil exist? Did God create evil?

The University professor challenged his students with this question.
"Did God create everything that exists?"
A student bravely replied, "Yes he did!"
"God created everything?" The professor asked. "Yes sir", the student replied.
The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are, then God is evil" (Nouse-O-bila).
The student became quiet before such an answer. The professor, quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the religious faith was a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said, "Can I ask you a question professor?"
"Of course", replied the professor.
The student stood up and asked, "Professor does cold exist?"
"What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?" The students snickered at the young man's question.
The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460? F) is the total absence of heat; all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature.
Cold does not exist.
We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat."
The student continued, "Professor, does darkness exist?"
The professor responded, "Of course it does."
The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light.
Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it.
How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present.
Isn't this correct?
Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."

Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?"
Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course as I have already said.
We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world.
These manifestations are nothing else but evil.

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least is does not exist unto itself.
Evil is simply the absence of God.
It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God.

God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light." The professor sat down.
The young man's name -- Albert Einstein

Saturday, April 29

krack and jack

the comedy movie andaaz apna apna is one of my all time favourites.. it belongs to a different genre of comedies
for instance there have been those like on the lines of chupke chupke and bawarchi or even padoasan.
next came those arty, low budget realistic comedies like jaane bhi do yaaro, chashmebaddor, and yes who can forget katha :)
then there is this one starring aamir and salman (what a treat!) both from bhopal, eek darzi ka to dusra nai ka beta!! cute!
its a reall non -sensical high on plain stupidity quotient type of comedy but still never fails to make the likes of me enjoy it throughly.( mera IQ itna hi hai!)
i guess the characterization was done pretty the main villian is mogambo ka bhateeja... who wears a batman+dracula uniform and which is refered to as his ghagara by the these two jhonnies!
then we have a tiger character who has another pawn who keeps on saying: "galti se mishtake ho gaya!!
to add to the mess there is a double role played by paresh raawal, in which one is the alter -ego of the other!!
and yes the guys do get some support from raveena and kareena ..vaise unke bagair bhi film utni hi achi rehti!
some scenes are hilarious like the one in the lodge when these two arch enemies end up spending the night together and the caretaker of the lodge is this ultra -dharmic fellow fully loaded on hanuman bhakti and sees these two as modern -day versions of ram and laxman!! and the fact that the reality is just the opposite makes it for a comic riot
another thing is its songs..all of which have been composed on the tunes of old classies
overall its a treat...which i enjoy everytime and fall off from my seat everytime laughing

Thursday, April 27


therz a lot worth writing but nothing to write.. i am blank today....mann shant hai, sthir hai.

Tuesday, April 25

i wish....

i wish i could do something....about it......

tumko dekha to yeh khayaal aaya....
zindagi dhoop ...
tum ghana saaya...

Monday, April 24


so today i am sitting in the lib. trying to focus on "political issues" when my mind is drifting into personal issues...
now let me clarify..personal bole to strictly introspective ones.....
and i feel that somehow the whole universe is lobbying hard to make me see inside and realize my defects and all....
so, i get up to get some stuff on international relations xeroxed......and while walking through the many galleries of that haunting place called the lib.....i uncosciously drift into the literature section and bump into this book..."man eating tigers of kumaon and rudryaprayag" by jim corbett.
hmmmm....this title seems to make a lot of circumstantial sense to me.....a quality which i probably share with the tigers!! haan!! afterall if not literally....but symbolically i am a man eater of sorts.....this is what i presume while picking up this hard back copy....pretty heavy haan....

now i had to tell the truth i had always wondered why on earth a tiger reserve should be named after a famous tiger hunter- jim corbett...this dillema is on the same lines as how come alfred nobel should be associated with a peace prize...

khair, i was to find an answer i open this book expecting corbett to begin with an explanation somewhat on the lines like: since tigers are mean...crazy ..blood thirsty.....cruel carnivores...they are hooked on to human flesh and so eat human beings as staple diets or atleast lucky- day kill delicacies.......

but, he begins by saying something quite contrary...infact just the polar 9 out of 10 cases of man kill...a tiger attacks because it is WOUNDED.....or the 10th time because it is too old to follow a taxing hunt and since humans have encroached upon its natural habitat..this MAJESTIC animal is left with no other option..!!!!!!
i wonder, if i have something in common with corbett's be technically correct...his tigeress!!!!


Sunday, April 23

SHE is making us run through our debts

our past karmas are obstacles in the path of ultimate- the last quantum leap which all souls are to take..
but we are all bound by the good or bad karma 'phals' which one is supposed to live and bear......for ages..its like a recurring viscious do good so have positive 'phalas' to live up in the next life and if you do bad then you are to suffer in the next life
so it is like a never ending circle of the good and the bad...'kolhu ke bail ki tarah bus piste raho'in this loop of maya......
so how does one break free??
mother kuch bhi hai usse iss janam main hi khatam kar ke...jala kar ke jao...sabhi ko apne aap ko...saari circumstances ko bass forgive karo...aur aage past these.....quick and swift....there is not much time left.....
time is running we are being made to very fast to get past these 'rinas' (karmas)....tabhi shayaad aisa lagta hai ki ek ke baad ek challenges aa rahen hain....

all this has a logic, a very profound reason......this is a big churning going on...the last judgement...
and as it goes....strongest of steels has to pass through the toughest of fires

so that we are free of all debts to step into the next transition..the final that is the culmination of all evolution...the final objective.


its a good feeling to finally clear up the had been lying dormant...fermenting......decomposing for too long...
for one,symbolically speaking , i have decluttered the mail box..
therz a long list of ovrdues still qeued up.

in the meantime i just have to write this 'song of the moment' (gone past) of sorts
wish had that devnagari option but it is'nt too here it goes...
"kaahe sataye
kaahe ko rulaaye..
ram kare
tujhko... neend na aaye....."

Saturday, April 22

miracle or faith

hope is a magical word capable of spinning miracles.....
afterall what is a miracle?
it is a miracle only as long as we doubt or reject something as shall no more be a miracle once we stop doubting and start believing....
when one begins to grow in faith...not blind faith for it could be a mere superstition....but faith that sprouts and flowers on the soils of experience.....things do work if one prefers to call it a miracle, so be still stays that faith which compels GOD to take care...

just like neo experiences in the matrix....he doubts and fails..he believes and succeeds....

Friday, April 21

time is running out...

one must read 'THE THIRD ADVENT'. it speaks of besides various other things, about how one has to believe....believe in the absolute truth and things work out.
things which are or seem to be impossible at first.
human mind has been conditioned by ages of limited when ramayana or mahabharata spoke of flying machines or the brahamastra...what could they possibly be?...nuclear weapons... super- sonic jets...when the yogis of those times could read the minds of others...telepathise.....did it mean that some exceptional men in those times had such developed faculties that they could indeed do that? and that these were not myths at all but true accomplishments of those may i say ultra modern times?
how does it make modern man feel...edgy....uncomfortable....we know for sure that the life expectancy in those times was much more than what the modern medicine has been able to bargain for the so called 'modern man'.
why is that we are conditioned to believe that with the passage of these many thousands of years- human race has progressed? ofcourse we have moved..but movement can be in any could be a downward movement as well...remember how the harappan civilization was much much advanced vis-a-vis the pre- vedic society which came after almost 2000 yrs of harappan collapse??
science has shown that the human bain has certainly evolved...and with much great speed in the near past....but has our race evolved at the same pace??
if everything in the nature is constantly moving towards evolution..or in the process of the unfolding of a new dialectic/development than why is it that this species in general is suffering so much...from all sorts of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual distress...if modernity as we understand it; is the criteria of 'growth' 'progress' etc. then why is it that a country like japan has the one of the highest suicide rates in the world!
something is deeply wrong just does'nt fit....
are we missing something very vital...something so essential.. a core a nucleus- without which the whole evolutionary process or the quintissential logic of whole existence is upside down..topsy turvy?
and probably the more critical question is CAN WE AFFORD TO CONTINUE TO NEGLECT IT ....TIME IS TICKING AWAY....tick..tick...tick

Wednesday, April 19

is'nt that sweet.

thats sweet!
puneet calls me up today in the morning and asks:"when do i come?"
and adds:"didi aap bass tension mat lo...jabb mujhe aane ke liye kahogi tabhi eek ghante main aa jaaonga"...( to be noted that this guy is living in model town and we are talking about making it to jnu for postering work for the upcoming wksp at mahi mandavi.)
bass itna sunte hi meri saari tension door ho gayi:)
its a lovely feeling to be able to belong to something...some cause..someone...?

Monday, April 17

itz eeezzzeee!!!!

i am no more technologically challenged!!!

ha! i can do it too...

five lessons to be learnt from a pencil.
first everything you do leaves a mark.
second, you can always correct your mistakes.
third, whats important is what is inside you, not what is outside.
fourth, in life you will undergo painful sharpenings which make you better in what you do.
lastly, to be the best, allow yourself to be held and guided by the hand that holds you....

Friday, April 14


plato was a skewed up guy (negatively skewed up towards sanity!! or would that be insanity??? i have never been good in stats!!!) in short i think thoda satkela tha ....
he was the pupil of the great master- socrates who chose to drink poison than to compromise the truth.
anyway, for the uninitiated:
plato, gave the idea of "communism of wives and property"... now what the hell is that? i am coming to that....
plato being a political thinker ponderd over the perrenial questions of what is wrong and what is right..what is and what ought to be..

so his ideal was a polity-society ruled by the philosopher kings...chosen men of such great merit who would dedicate their lives to the welfare of the state and its citizens.
BUT (and mind you this was a bbbiggg but!) since acc. to him, family, (wife and children)and property(material possesions etc.) tend to make a man selfish...he suggested an arrangement wherein these guys(kings) would not have either of them , instead an arrangement would be in place where these could be commonly owned and shared!!!!
so the best of genes could be brought together and owned by the state to bring up another harvest of meritorious to rule.

that is how the term 'platonic relationship' emerged..

and if some of you are inclined towards liking the idea.....please grab a copy of ayan randt's 'the emblem'... also plato never gave space to any personal choices or decisions in this a man could never decide for know what..
just for records, i would like to mention that infact plato's greatest pupil aristotle completely rubbished the idea.

Wednesday, April 12

k is the magic word

what's the deal with all these k serials?
are we supposed to buy the argument that this world exists only in black and white?
either its the good bahu or the bad vamp. choose your pick.
i mean the lady has hijacked all meaning and essence of the term 'cliched'. she is soooooo predictable that its almost demeaning to the sensibilities of any average viewer.

but boss mannana padega all the auntys and the likes are truly hooked onto her 'creative produces' (which are just plain simple too many even in terms of number of them on air at a time)...i remember when gujrat was rocked by an earthquake few years back...the ladies in the rehab. camps made sure that they were provided with tv sets in their camps because they did not want to miss out on whatever happened to mihir after he went missing (or something like that).....vaise on the flip side it was not a bad way to partially deal with great stress those families must have gone through during that time.

so this is what sells or is it the only category available? are we being offered any reall choices here? wohi ghise pite actors and wohi ghise pite plots..isse zyaada na soch sakten hain na de sakten hain.....hackneyed and booorring.
aur haan...not to forget the stream of ultra 'dharmic' serials on weekends are there to resolve ones moral issues which may have crept in the week of watching k know with all that bitching and all .....its not a bad idea....balance maintained rehta hai!!! sabb chalta hai.......

Monday, April 10


i have felt many times that monday is like the best day to procrastinate things\ tasks upon.... "i shall do it on monday"- this is my best and the most commonly abused excuse..... ask rajinder!!! i would arrive all pepped up and enthu..and rajinder would invariably be missing\ running late\kidnapped\not to be found\struck by temporary amnesia....(any or all of them).
khair things are different now....navneet moved out rajinder moved up...kal ka raju became shri rajeev!! so THINGS ARE DIFFERENT
however one good thing is that despite all the odds most of the times i did accomplish things on a monday.
monday - my sweet day of accomplishments!!

Saturday, April 8

so what's in the name?

names i believe are reflective of the psyche of those who get to keep them..which in all circumstances exclude any 'right to decide' for those who have to carry the responsibility to live with that name
no powers with all the responsibilities- imperialistic mentalities
allow me to for instance someone is named grace..imagine how tormenting it can be for someone named grace to be blamed for being what does it mean the poor soul has a binding contract to act gracefully even in the most horrid of situations?
or for that matter kamal, mridul, soumya and so on..
vaise most of the times its just the other way round so all the kamals and the komals of the world are the most prone to breaking things and being the goofiest of them all

anyway, this reminds me of a name - suyodhan...does it ring any bells?
well it was what the original name of the greatest villians of hindu mythology- yes, someone who is better known as duryodhan.
it is said that its because of his actions and behaviour he began to be called as duryodhan ... imagine and the guy actually reconciled to the its like what even today almost all of us do so many times ...just accept that this is the weak point in me and comfortably continue to carry on with it!!! " abb kya karen yaar bass gussa aa hi jata hai " chalo kaam khatam. human beings have'nt changed much...all things must be evolving in nature but we? i suspect if we are.

vaise i am little senti about this great story of mahabharata.... therz a lot i find extremely fascinating about it
fir kabhi...

check list for the week which went by

check list for the week that went by:
butter scotch- had
ginger ale- could'nt lay my hands on
mizoram trip-on the backburner (monsoons are here)
interview- missed
500 paged heywood- must be tossing and turning in his grave! (btw, is he dead? dono who cares?)
posters- ankit is on it so i need not worry, phew!
my article in ijps- did'nt bother to see (kya karna hai yaar mera hi to wat's new?)
new std plan- earlier no money all the talks----cut---now all the money no talks!!

life has its own fetish for ironies, "is'nt it ironic don't you think.."
hey this sounds like an old song by who???
che...sheryl crow i guess
btw, wat's the deal with a surname like crow...maane kaowa or kaowi??? bechaari dikhti to theek thaak hi hai.
wat's in the name

zzz.. I am writing..

i tried to catch hold of my friends today but no one was there.
it felt as if i am all alone in a storm ...
something is begining to dawn upon me- no one can comfort me as much as i can comfort myself.....
this is as true as truth itself.....
i am not alone, i have myself !!
this too shall pass :)

Thursday, April 6

hello me!!

well i am writing because this thing has been created by a friend who insisted that i one can guess from the name of this blog itself!!!
ok now the thing is that although i would not think highly of someone named zzz..and all that, but why fight it yaar??
matlab ... why is it so difficult to just take things as they are going...once in a while it may feel good to maaro all the crib but why most of the times..why?

ok i remember the other day i was reading the acknowledgements written by someone in the begining of his dissertation ... and this fellow seemed to be of my types u no... thoda philosophical types.... anywayz.. he had written that.." difficult times are the best times"

now the question is : are these the best times for me?
i am begining to have an inkling that these indeed are.... hey this makes me feel good.
dekhten hai kyaa hota hai but i am enjoying this time for now....