this blog so far has been a journal of my experiences, observations and understandings of the moment. of course writing them all down has also helped me to realize that all that one thinks or believes also keeps changing...changing because its evolving.
as i stand today, i have wondered about something which may best be worded as - sense of self. um mm...i am no psychologist to have any technical or precise definitions. but continuing with my habit of penning down what i feel. i do know know that i don't want to discuss what it means or what it comprises of.
self is the most individual thing a being can have- everybody shall agree to that. however
i feel this self is actually expandable. in a way that the consciousness about self and being can actually transcend beyond the limits of individual life force.
simply putting, my consciousness of this self or being this self moves to another level, where i or myself is not what i have been conditioned into believing, because of being this individual that i am.
lets take a very tangible example. tangible because its an emotion that has been experienced or written about by so many lucky people that it derives a strange cliched legitimacy of sorts. (however, i do feel rather restricted in the scope of this topic by citing this example.)
expansion of the idea or feeling of self may happen in cases where two individuals feel their sense of self transcending through genuine and intense feelings of love and connection with another being. like a lover may feel towards his/her soul mate - to put it in the regular style :) in this bond, two people do experience their sense of selves melting into another's and both belonging or existing as one entity.
moving from this example, i propose (propose is a word that has sadly to be used because language has its limitations- this is certainly not an argument but a feeling which can be communicated at this level only through words :(
so what if this sense of transcending ones self -galvanized through the medium of pure love moves from the restricting bondages of carnal love. love which is free of dross completely. love which sprouts within because it feeds on an eternal life force....a belonging which is there because we are all part and parcel of that whole - that is there -as it contains us all- as ONE
the sense of self grows expands and permeates in all. it loves because it is nothing but love. it is stable and secure. it does not feel challenged because there is no other. probably the concept of ADVAITA or non duality is a spiritual manifestation of this feeling. all that "i" have known uptill now as my own small- restricted self then withers away..... losing its relevance completely because it is obselete. it merges and assumes its crowning glory of the whole- the king.