Tuesday, July 31

MOTHER' PRIDE or PLIGHT??

I begin with a clarification that the title of this post has its inspiration in a recent interaction with a tiny tot. when asked if she went to school, her evidently well – versed (with what else do we adults strike up a conversation with a small child ?) and instant reply was : Mother’s Pride, U-KG (A), class teacher- Mrs. Deepika Vohra.
Having skipped the rest of the details as furnished by the child (probably by now experience had taught her the common sequence of corresponding questions and she seemed to be a time-energy saving sorts. smart child….) ; I in my elements loudly remarked if the child was sure it was not Mother’s Plight??
Can’t say if the child’s smartness challenged my tiny brain, but the fact that it is tiny was established when I had to abruptly stop howling at my own PJ, once I located the not – so – amused expressions of the mother.
As for the child, she simply derived that I was hard of hearing, repeated the correct name of her posh school once or twice in as best clarity as her tongue could manage and hopped out of the room - as much better stuff allured her than interacting with a dumb adult.

Coming back to mother’s plight, let me introduce my 5 year old nephew about whom this post is about. He is the first and the only third generation member in my immediate family. Basically he is the edifice of my exposure to small children living in close proximity.
To put it plainly: there has never been a single good – bye (he stays with his parents in a different city) that I have simultaneously hated and loved more.
The times when he is here or I am there, nothing else in my life commands for more attention than this little creature. The child is high on NQ (nonsense quotient)!!
Psychologists declare that children up to 5 yrs. (plus – minus 5 yrs!!) are totally EGO oriented: it is My – Me – Myself for them.
So the child can sleep at 7 in the evening so as to get up at 4 in the morning and make ones life hell, if one tries to even slightly procrastinate fulfilling His wish to visit the local playground. Okay, so I get up, rush to the local park – dressed still in my pajamas, disheveled hair, yawning and trying not to topple over something…only to be told 5 minutes later that He is hungry!!! Morning walkers- kindly uncle jis and aunty jis look at the ‘poor child’ and inwardly sympathize with him for having to bear with a negligent guardian.

Next, he can squash wasps and all sorts of ugly creepy crawlies with His bare hands but the reason he cannot eat food on his own is: his hands may get soiled. So my mom or me or any other person entrusted with the humongous task has to constantly run after him balancing food plates in one hand, so as to stuff the next morsel in His Highness’ mouth. We are often screamed at for not realizing that He is not finished with His mouthful as yet.
The only easy way out is to put Cartoon Network which has the magical powers to dazzle him totally. He keeps his mouth open all the time while watching the world of animation and this eases the task for us manifolds. Also as he sits glued in front of the screen like a stone, this helps save us lot of calories. However this option weighs too heavily on our moralities and is mostly not taken recourse to. I strongly feel that in state of total crisis, Cartoon Network is the best anti-dote for all hysteria.

Although this fellow can’t read a full sentence but insists that he must be bought all those glossy paged story books. So who reads them for him??? Obviously me - mind you - not once or twice but close to 100 times over and over again.

Of course visiting shopping centers or even local kiraana shops can be an experience when he is around. He is innovative in his techniques so if crying has become too stale and boring, he can howl, scream or best simply refuse to walk or move an inch from the spot. At times to spice up things and add up visual treat for on lookers he adds up acts of physical audacity by simply spreading on the floor - there and then.

Great men have said: that curiosity for the world around makes the child inquisitive.
There are times when I have won the battle for TV. Even if it so happens that through much cajoling and promises for future goodies, one gets to watch anything else but cartoons BEWARE : one may be smothered with questions of plain curiosity like kyoun, kaise (hows and whys) which by default find a way to attach themselves to every answer that one manages for the previous set. Yes, with a 5 yr old it is possible. With a 5 year old anything is possible…..

I can go on and on with all these things and incidents or I can end this post with one line: despite everything, we all adore him. Don’t ask me the kyoun and kaise behind this. I have no possible rational answers for this one :):):)

13 comments:

mystic rose said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mystic rose said...

why would you not adore him?! and wait till you have one of your own, this is nothing compared to the real thing(the amount of energy it will take:)) . and wait till you have to do it all on your own!!!

one thing though, i must say, we indians indulge our kids a lot. if you see here, most western kids are well behaved in a restaurant, the ratio of indian kids doing the same are much smaller. At sleep times, most kids would go to sleep in their own beds on their own. a good night hug would suffice. for indians, rama rama.. the parents will pass out of exhaustion before the kid will fall asleep.

a balance of both is needed.

dintoons said...

hahaha, nice adventures with the kids... and an interesting rejoinder by mystic! hard experience speaks, lol! :o)

zzz, it's my experience that, when dealing with kids, one needs to get down to their level and become a kid yourself(in a very real sense, and not just pretending to be one!)...and then a whole new world opens up.. a magical world where anything's possible, and life is full of magical adventures and amazing discoveries and wonderful mysteries n stories...!!

all kids love stories, and when we turn everyday events into interesting stories and imaginative adventures, it sparks off something within them (and us too, as we get carried along by the magic!), and then they become your best friends and confidantes, as they start sharing their little secrets and allow you to enter into their uniquely personal imaginative universes... into a never-ending journey of joy and delight and divine adventures! :o)

most, if not all, kids love to draw and color...and for me this is a wonderfully easy way to gain access into their personal imaginary worlds... all i need to do, whenever i meet up with kids, is quietly take out my sketchbook and start drawing cartoons... and slowly the natural curiosity of the child makes it want to take a closer look... and then a coupla questions/comments put in the right way, and lo! the creative connection happens instantaneously! and a beautiful lifelong relationship starts blooming and flowering right then and there... oh i can't tell you how wonderful it is to be part of a child's world and to live a child-like life...!!

really, there's so much to say, but i'll leave it at this for now...

i feel it's also about keeping our minds and hearts open and soft and flexible enough to adapt to a simpler, more creative way of thinking... rather than being too rigid and stiff-necked with our supposedly mature attitudes and (so-called) personalities, which actually end up shutting us out of this divinely creative universe... as we go about living our lives wearing the masks of social approval and responsibility and conformity...

sorry, getting a bit carried away... :o)

but yes, all said and done, one can't help loving a child unconditionally... that's the divine birthright and privilege of a child... :o)

sonal said...

WOW..ATLEAST HE SUCCEEDED IN MOVIN UR A** ESRLY IN THE MORNING...n yah..kids r like tht...but i wz somewat diffrnt 5yr old ..mayb times r changin...

mystic rose said...

i wish i were a kid and met dinesh! :)

dintoons said...

lol! mystic, aren't we kids even now..?? and aren't our hearts meeting magically across thousands of miles, even as we speak..?? :o)

now if only we had such a wonderfully loving n adoring babysitter as zzz, life would be such a cakewalk!! ;o)

mystic rose said...

:)).

so sweet. yes, we are. and that is the most precious thing that hearts can touch with purity across oceans, with no other relation or purpose or meaning besides love.

mystic rose said...

I am blessed to have zzz in my heart and now you too. :)

zzz-writer said...

for all my dear friends --
:):)
oh hold on ...wait.... come again -who gets to be the baby sitter ????
;););)
rose,
i know for sure that me and the kids would be a riot, tell me would you be ready to handle us all ??? :D
dinesh...wanna join the gang?
lol

zzz-writer said...

sonal
he kicked yours too
remebre????
anyways, God bless him
let us not discuss him (specifically) too much. i believe all kids are more or less the same - sweet innocent loving and yes sometimes demanding... as dinesh rightly pointed - isn't it a chil's right too?
esp in modern day nuclear set up with working parents, single children are often loosing out on lot ...

Rauf said...

i am a good baby sitter, but minimum age is 3, can't handle younger ones. recently had to watch a little one while mummy and aunt was shopping, just 4, she could speak, Tamil, Malay, English better than mine and hindi. she was very fond of pulling down things from the racks, had a tough time keeping her away from the crockery. And the stupid aunt buys her a drum. two beats on the drum one on my knees. The drum stick had a rounded end.
Be a good girl, don't make noise .... yea yea beat the drum but don't beat uncle okay ??

zzz-writer said...

rauf
i can totally understand what you mean....
and yet they are the little angels- ai'nt they?
what is it that makes us bear them. i remeber my brother who said that the reason why God made children so cute to look at was beacuse if it were not ther cute faces, adults would never bear their troubles.

Jac said...

I love this.