Glad I could retrieve the blog. Hope to be revive it now.

Coming back home does not feel the same. Once the place I grew up in is no more the place home is - it just fails to add up to the flavour called home. Its little disappointing but thats the way things are. Human beings are so prone to getting dependent upon status quo that a change can be equivalent of chaos. I have known people who can extend this so called familiarity-comfort to any level. For example, if some books on the table are shifted from left to the right - a great sin has been committed.
Its complex but crucial to distinguish familiarity from stagnation. At the same time its important to identify a large pattern on which one chooses to lead ones life.

If you want to be happy in your life

Start being so now

jai ganapati nanadan pyaare
jai shiv paarvati dulaare
jai ridhi siddhi ke mangal daata
jai mushak vaahan dhare

EXPECTATION IS A ROUTE TO DISAPPOINTMENT

zzz

best wishes to all who read this

Ek din Khuda ne apne bande se kahaa
Tu jo chahe woh kar sakta hai
Haalanki, hota wahi hai jo Main chahti hoon
Jo tu woh chahe jo Main chahti hoon
To hoga wahi jo tu chahta hai.

and the winner is

i am begining to feel :

it is easiest to cry in the name of God
it is a test to laugh in His name

chinta se ghate chaturai
dukh se ghate sharir
paap se ghate laxmi
keh gaye sant kabir

i wish i can watch and pass through.

its been long since i sat down to write something like this, guess the feel of my old room, and old computer manages to tickel the electrons in my head and makes me write, even if it is nothing significant like today.
what is it that makes people write? for me these days it is like a single goal of life to finish all that was started long ago. but thats unlike this - this one is maintained for i do not know why...but not for the university for sure ;)

will all the memories fade as i pass through life? now as i see them, they are not significant - all the things which seemed so then. not even as memories.
it does not feel like anything important is happening now, even if it is - may be it is/ but may be it is not? who decides?
somehow people have infuenced my idea about what is significant and what is not in my life. but now i am seeing how far apart i am with many who were so significant for years....people, place, city, country, life, life points, beliefs, essentials, thresholds...somehow everything

some things just change inside not outside.
and what can i do about it, but watch and pass through.
is this the key that i am looking for?